I am tired of hearing that people are busy. It's always, "How have you been?", "Busy." Does saying that you are busy make you feel any better, or does it just validate your feeling that you must be an important person as you are busy? Just like answering "fine, or "good." I am so sick of these off pat, thoughtless responses. True, the sales assistant who asks, "How are you today?" is not likely to want to hear all about your bunions or the state of that odd rash, but perhaps we could all do with a change of perspective and a change of attitude.
With all the things we fit into our schedule, even if that is just watching Project Runway, how often do we stop to take stock of our feelings on any given day? It is so easy to be annoyed, hassled and tired. What if we stopped each morning to just reflect on how we feel, and how we would like to feel for the day? I know this all sounds a bit like a dose of positive affirmations, and yes there is a degree of that, but I'm talking about taking a simple approach.
Next time, when someone asks how you are, give them an answer that will make you both feel better. The choice of adjectives is yours. Personally I like to go with Marvelous, Fabulous, Splendid, Top Notch, Stellar, or my personal favorite; Superlative!
With Christmas just around the corner and your schedule likely to be heaving at the seams, I challenge you to not simply just to dress fabulously, but to BE fabulous; and make sure everyone knows it!
With all the things we fit into our schedule, even if that is just watching Project Runway, how often do we stop to take stock of our feelings on any given day? It is so easy to be annoyed, hassled and tired. What if we stopped each morning to just reflect on how we feel, and how we would like to feel for the day? I know this all sounds a bit like a dose of positive affirmations, and yes there is a degree of that, but I'm talking about taking a simple approach.
Next time, when someone asks how you are, give them an answer that will make you both feel better. The choice of adjectives is yours. Personally I like to go with Marvelous, Fabulous, Splendid, Top Notch, Stellar, or my personal favorite; Superlative!
With Christmas just around the corner and your schedule likely to be heaving at the seams, I challenge you to not simply just to dress fabulously, but to BE fabulous; and make sure everyone knows it!
22 comments:
I love this post so much I felt the need to delurk to thank you. I am already looking forward to having a Top Notch day tomorrow!
Wonderful suggestions. I might just have to try "top notch!" ! :D
Great post! And you have SO RIGHT!
By the way: I feel splendid today (even though it is monday...smile)and hope, you do as well!
Wish you a wonderful and sparkling day!
sunny autumn greetings from germany
geisslein
We have banned the word 'fine' in our house, the children now often have fabulous or fantastic or super days, much better :-D
This is an interesting subject, Super Mama.
You're right, many people just deliver a pat answer, because they're trying to wiggle away from the conversation, or because they're telling you what they think you want to hear, or similar.
I'll be making the effort toward originality. Thanks for the reminder.
hello kitten and thanks for swingin' by my place...why yes your wonderful and darling package arrived and was greated by two sweet as cupcake lil' ladies while i was away on holiday in hawaii...fitting i think...the girls begged and pleaded to open and screamed with glee...at an adorable handmade apron!what sugared bliss...thank you for the generouse package.the wrapping was vintage eye candy... what a lucky kitten am i ! love your picnic in the park outfit...and love your kmart shoes...fab! cat~
I have to stop saying on the blog that I have no time.... it's beginning to annoy me and it's probably already annoyed others...I am feeling tired constantly though but i musn't whine... thanks for giving me the motive to stop!
I completely agree with this. I have one friend in particular who starts every conversation with "God, I'm tired, I'm so busy." It kind of kills the sparkle of conversation after that.
My favourite responses are "Super!" or "Tip-top!" :)
Oh SKM - what a wonderful post. So true too! That awful mechanical:
"Hi how are you?" (not making eye contact)
"Fine thanks. You?" (not making eye contact)
...is so hideous! It really reinforces our separateness as well, forcing us to stay in our little bubble I think. I like to tell people I'm brilliant, (even if I'm not always!) and usually my answer is so out of left field that I get a really good reaction from my friend/shopkeeper/barista and a great conversation gets started - even if only for the time it takes for them to make a soy latte!
When people ask me how I am I always try not only to look them in the eye, but give them a big smile and say "great!"
It's like answering the phone with an enthusiastic "Hi!" as in "I am so happy that you've called".
A bit of sparkle and effervescence is not hard to pass on to others.
Thanks for the reminder SKM
x
I started saying "busy" because everyone said it to me and I didn't want to seem like the one lazy person!
I always say that I am "fabulous" even if I'm really not... :D
perhaps instead of saying "i'm busy", i'll say, "i'm full of life!"
We can add to the tedium of life or we can add to the splendidness of life - choose splendid!!
I've just finished four of my six exams today, and I'm inclined to say that I feel "GRAND" (apostrophes mandatory) thank you very much!
I would be very indignant to hear "Busy" if I asked how someone was doing. If I ever hear this, I plan to respond "Poor you!" and just walk away.
Jeanette: Well thank you and welcome! My day has been Cracking so far. :)
Esme: Please do. And you could always add a "..my dear chap / lass." at the end for dramatic effect.
Geisslien: Thank you, I would very much like to be Splendid in Germany.
Spiragirl: Excellent. It is about time people started teaching their children more useful adjectives instead of just those they don't wish to be repeated!
Enc: I think it is just laziness really, and a general reluctance to connect with others not in your immediate sphere. Hope your day was Stellar!
The Vintage Housewife: Oh I'm so please to hear it reached you! I took a few pics before hand which I might post not that I know it has arrived.
Susie Bubble: I think when we spend so much time saying that we are tired and have no time, it just reinforces that as our reality. Perhaps rather than "tired" you could just say," ready for a night of good dreams." That is bound to put you in a better head space.
A Cat: You're right, it really does kill the sparkle and it makes you feel a little guilty if you then want to tell them about just how great you are, like you're rubbing in in.
Nokomi: Thank you, I like to keep them short, sweet and hopefully inspiring. And you are right, with a great answer you usually get a great conversation and sometimes a wonderful new friend.. or just a free coffee.
Too Many Shoes: Your point about the phone is true too. There is nothing worse than calling someone and they have all the welcome of someone whose house you just T.P'd.
Wendy B: Ahh and there lies the trap!
Ash: Does it make you feel a little more fabulous, or focus you on the little fabulous things of your day?
Danielle: Good one!
Cybill: I think we need some badges made with that.
Eilynn: Hurrah! I think you could add "Mightily Accomplished" to that list today.
Sister Wolf: Oh how I love you, that is just perfect for the overwrought sad sack always looking for pity. I'll be saving that one for a special occasion.
Hey Mama I've been following your blog here for awhile and this is the first thing that spurred me to post. I have a different twist - I encounter people who ask "How are you doing" and when you try to elaborate.. "Oh I am great - went flying over the weekend and really enjoying this wonderful weather... and so on" You suddenly get the impression that they never wanted to hear the answer in the first place. I think "busy" has become a way of countering a question that was asked without sincerity. I've tried some experiments where I don't even answer a person but just smile and it doesn't even phase them. Nearly robotic! :) I'll keep trying to anwer my best despite the mechanics...
would it help if i said busy with a big grin on my face? busy isn't always negative you know. i never say it because i think it makes me important or better than anyone else - i say it because it's true. and i'm usually not whinging - i just happen to be busy a lot of the time! and i often give reasons as a way to start conversations ie I'm busy because of...
so i don't always think it's such a negative thing like you're pointing out.
I always say "good thanks" but yesterday I was in a bleak mood and when a shop assistant asked me if I was having a good day, I said "Not really, but thanks for asking". I think I threw her a bit!
Perhaps the bigger problem is the question. We need better small talk.
I've been thinking about writing about this for a while! Gosh you're fabulous!
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