How to Dress With Confidence

Stripy goodness from stylish Nubby Twiglet

So many times I hear people say, "Wow, I would love to dress like you, but I just don't have the confidence to pull it off." Rather than responding with platitudes, I've decided it is time to let you in on a little secret. Yes, my confidence is down to my personality, but there are a few tricks you can use to manufacture a bit of style chutzpah for yourself.

What is it that stops you leaving the house in your favorite hat, tutu or monocle? It is all a matter of context and peer pressure for most. If you were heading to a gallery opening, chances are you would be bolder, and tap into your artistic side hoping to show the punters that you are indeed, an individual with artistic sensibilities. But take this same individual grocery shopping in the same ensemble and you'll see their confidence melt away before your very eyes. Now I am not addressing the larger issue of event appropriate attire here, as this is a longer and even more subjective discussion. I am instead, simply attempting to shed some light on why some people always appear their true, brave and colourful selves no matter the situation. This is the kind of confidence you want to have.

Let's assume that you have nailed your personal aesthetic. You know what looks good, what makes you happy and how to mix and match to your hearts content. But when it comes to stepping out in that electric blue suit, all the confidence you had whilst posing in front of the mirror is now in a puddle at your feet. So what has changed in this dynamic? Your audience. When it is just you looking appreciatively back at yourself, you only have yourself to please. But when the thought of Shelia from Accounts, the Check Out Girl or the School Gate Mum crosses your mind, you find yourself quaking as you see yourself through (what you believe to be) their eyes.

So what to do? Firstly, reevaluate your thinking.

You don't actually know what any of these people are thinking of your sense of style. They may throw you a negative comment but be secretly jealous, just like mum used to say. There may be whispers of "bold choice" tinged with sarcasm, as these peers seek to validate their own style choices through one mass mind and group acceptance. But this is not always way they honestly feel on the inside. Ask yourself why being accepted as one of the flock is so important to you and if perhaps staring your own trend may be more rewarding.

Secondly, change your audience.

If the biggest peer group in your life are all buttoned down and prim, where you seek to explore your wilder side, you need to find a more appreciative audience. Now, don't go rushing out to dump all your friends and start hanging out in biker bars, all you need to do is find your pals online. Your already here so, put your style out there and get some feedback. You don't need to start a blog as there are loads of online style diaries you can try. People will give you feedback (be prepared for positive and negative) on your style, helping you to refine it, and gain more confidence in your look. There is an amazing power hidden in this. If you have hundreds of enthusiastic peers with whom to exchange ideas, and to tell you how fabulous you are, you will carry these virtual friends with you all day. So when Shelia gives you the evil eye for your choice, you can smile a little smuggly in the knowledge that there a hundred people out there giving you a round of applause.

Thirdly, be the you YOU want to be, it is your civic duty!

Yes, we all have to make accommodations for our situations, be they work, cultural or religious; but you have the freedom to chose how you want express your style. This is an amazing gift you can give to others. As you feel the confidence and freedom to dress yourself the way you want daily, those around you will begin to see the power this gives you. No longer a slave to the sartorial conventions of the masses, you'll encourage those around you to start experimenting in their own way. This may seem small on the outside, but the change of attitude and to their own confidence will be immeasurable. Fashion doesn't just happen, it takes innovation, risk and daring. Raise the bar and others will follow.

So now you know the secret, add it to the stash of super powers in your fashion arsenal and go forth in style my pretties!

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Links to some great online style diaries:

My Style Diary
Chictopia
Mode Pass

The Original Wardrobe Remix on Flickr

There are plenty more of these out there. Readers feel free to add links to your favorite sites in the comments section.

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Note: Apologies to any Shelias' who work in accounts. Your name was used for illustrative purposes only, don't take it personally. I'm sure you're a very stylish individual.