Rather than beginning my year with a new set of resolutions destined for adding to anxieties and guilt, I have instead chosen to take another tact to begin the new year. I am editing my life. (Perhaps this is just a rose by another name, but nevertheless...)
Just like a good film, life needs a little editing every now and again to make it fit the romantic notion of reality you like to create in your head. Where I would like to have a well organised wardrobe where each item is visible and available at a moments notice, I instead have three wardrobes full of clothes, shoes, handbags and other accessories. When I look at my bookcase it is no longer a reflection of the me I am today, but is full of dog earred dross and unread gifts from an age ago. The same can be said for the contents of my storage cupboards, kitchen, studio etc... and the list goes on. While I have been on a mission to have "nothing in my home that is neither useful nor beautiful", it is a slow process, and is only half the story. To really begin the year anew, a good hard edit of lifes commitments, goals and time misspent is also in order.
When you look at how you spend your time each day, breaking it down moment by moment, how much of what fills it really counts for you? How many of those moments are things that you wish to build memories from, and how many are just the motions of an over scheduled automaton? Here is a little selection of some of the things that are to be shed from my life and the little rays of inspiration that are to replace them.
* Breakfast routine - I almost always eat the same thing for breakfast, and while it is nutritious, it is beginning to bore me. Instead, I am going to make breakfast a treat to start each day. Eggs in little china cups, with hot buttered toast cut into little fingers. Fresh flowers on the table. Jam served from a nice crystal bowl instead of the jar it came in and butter in a white china dish. My coffee in my favorite cup and saucers instead of a big mug - what's the use in having all this great china if it is seldom used? It doesn't have to be any harder, it is just a matter of changing a habit.
* Gym - I am so bored with my gym. The routine, the solitude of it and the sense of obligation. Instead I am going to replace my gym sessions with more dance sessions. A chance to dress up, interact, learn a new skill and stealth exercise.
* Housework - I spend a great deal of my time each day picking things up and returning them to their rightful places. It is depressing, tiring and makes me very irritable to live with. When reading about the daily housekeeping routine of women in the 1940's, something occurred to me. While it appears that they must have spent a great deal of time each day on straightening up, the reality wasn't near as bad as I had imagined, ( a quick chat with Nana confirmed this). And do you know why? They had so much less STUFF! With toy boxes bursting at the seams, more kitchen equipment than I could possibly use in a life time, and more miscellaneous ornaments than I even have shelves for; it is no wonder that I am driven around the bend by this chore. So the simple solution is to get rid of it. If I only have five sets of towels in the house then I won't have to wash and store so many. If Miss four only has a few dolls, I won't have to pick up twenty every night. I could be overly ambitious in this plan but the proof will be in the pudding.
* Television - I go through phases with this one, but it truly is one of the greatest time thieves. At the end of a busy day it is all too easy to collapse in front of whatever is on and zone out for a few hours. Generally though, the selection of shows tend to involve someone being killed, dying, on trial or being autopsied by some government agency or other. None of these make me feel any the better for it, and I find I can diagnose whatever obscure life threatening disease will kill our character within the first five minutes. So it has to stop. If I chose to watch something, it has to be on MY schedule and fit the emotional bill of whatever I am craving at that moment. Feeling a little hard done by? Watch Schindler's List. But whatever you do, don't leave the thing on for the next show to creep up on you and steal your evening.
* The Mall - Yes, I am somewhat of a shopping addict. I am also a bargain hunter and a fantasist. All these things add up to trouble when shopping in a mall. I don't tend to shop for clothes and things this way, but I do head into them often for the groceries, the mail and all those weekly necessities. And this is the problem. I just can't seem to pop in and out. I loose so much time browsing around for things I don't need, being distracted by sale racks and promotions. What I really need to do is shop at my local grocer / butcher / fruit store. If I go to stores that have only what I specifically need, then I am less likely to lose that extra hour being distracted by shiny things. And I'll be supporting small business which I am all in favor of. This one seems like a win win situation.
So with a little carefully editing, I should once again be the master of my own destiny. No longer a slave to the lure of 50% off, the power of meaningless obligation or the tyranny of possessions. At the very least I will be the owner of a shiny new set of good intentions.